It's all because of Francis! Again!

The lights had been dimmed, not yet turned on for the day. It was still too early. The glow of the rising sun spread across the water of the pool, illuminating Arthur's weary expression. His eyes were red, dried tear tracks staining his cheeks, eyelids heavy and gaze, dull. He still hadn't been able to catch any sleep, after hours and hours of trying. So he'd given up and come down to relax by the pool while no one was yet there.

His pants had been rolled up like his sleeves, water up to his mid-calf, one of his legs making symbols in the water of the deep end of the grandiose pool.

He was really exhausted. Francis had done it again.

How did the infuriatingly flirty Frenchman ever get to the point where he could manipulate his heart like that? This wasn't supposed to happen! Not only had he entirely humiliated himself, but he'd been given food for thoughts that he'd tried so hard to repress for so long.

The Frenchman couldn't sleep.He tossed and turned until eventually falling off the couch he had made his bed for that night.He vaguely remembered the details of what happened.He,Rory,and Arthur were going to sleep in the rest area,on the couches there.He had upset Arthur,and now it was just him and the Scot.Francis sighed and got up.He knew he wasn't going to sleep,so he might as well do the right thing and try to find Arthur.He left the room and began walking around the school.

It was a good hour or so before Francis decided to check the pool.He had seriously doubted that Arthur would be there,but after searching all around,he gave up and felt it was worth a shot.He walked through the door and looked around.Nope,no sign of that Br-..Then he spotted him.Francis had found him,sitting on the edge of the pool,just across the room from the door he had entered through.He gulped and slowly,quietly,began to walk over.

The water in the deep end was dark, almost black as Arthur played in it idly with his feet. The gentle noise of moving water was at first all he heard... Until soft footsteps joined into the symphony of calming, apprehension-inducing noises.

When Francis reached the side of the pool,he stopped.He didn't move closer to Arthur,didn't try to sit with him.He turned and kicked off his loafers and socks,before bending to roll up his pants.He sat on the edge of the pool and dipped his feet in,making an odd whimper at the sudden cold feeling.He relaxed after a moment and leaned back,supporting himself with his hands.He did not speak,did not ask Arthur any questions,just sat there,staring at the ceiling.

Arthur didn't look up, but immediately knew who it was that had come for him. And honestly, he didn't mind, because he was respecting him by not saying anything too direct. Then again, the silence had been fun while it had lasted.

"You know what's really hard for me?" he started, not waiting for Francis to answer. "Imagining that one day, you'll stop if we start now."

Francis looked over at the comment,studying Arthur.He sighed,moving forward to slump over and stare at the water.He closed his eyes.

"I wouldn't stop.I've chased after you for so long,I would never stop,"he said slowly."You have no clue how much I wanted you,how much I've tried to get close to you.So much,in fact,too much.Too much to just give up halfway through if we started to.."He wasn't sure if he made sense,but he didn't care,because he was sure Arthur would understand what he meant.He always seemed to in the past,so why not now?

"How can you love me? Better yet, how can you love someone like me? You don't know me at all. You don't know the real me." Arthur muttered, flicking some water with his feet.

"I know you're a British teen with a poison tongue who likes to tease others but you really care..You've had trouble with your brothers while growing up under the care of your mother,but you're growing closer to them.I know you love reading,and I know you want to be Sherlock Holmes for Halloween.You can quote any work of Shakespeare,and you can act if you just believed in yourself.I know you favorite foods,how you take your tea,desserts..That you do care for others,but keep it hidden.That's something the Japanese boy calls "tsundere" or something.."Francis took a deep breath after his little speech.He turned to Arthur again,staring at him.

"I do know you,Arthur."

Arthur didn't look at him, merely shook his head.

"You know of my habits and my interests. You don't know who I am." he sighed. "Did you know that I started seeing Flying Mint Bunny when I was seven? It was the only source of affection I ever got. Without it, I would probably grow up depressed and neglected. Did you know I used to take drugs, stole and vandalized private property? Because spending the night in jail was better than spending it at our house."

He paused, gazing at the dark, bottomless waters he was dipping in.

"Did you know I can't swim?" he flicked more water with his foot and took it out of the water, observing the drops rolling off his skin and plopping into the pool. "My brothers pushed me into a river, once. It was supposed to be a joke, but I've been afraid of water and haven't learned to swim ever since." he sighed tiredly and buried his face in his hands, hunched over the edge. "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into. You don't know what kind of a monster you've decided to love."

Francis listened to Arthur talk.At the end,he smiled a little bit."I think I do know.I don't think your a monster,anyways..Just someone who uses being mean or something as a cover.."He sighed and lied down on the floor,feet still in the water.He covered his eyes.

"I understand if you don't like me,if you don't wish to be with me.But just know,nothing will stop me from wanting to be with you.This,I am positive of.So..If you're willing..I'm willing..And we could make this happen.."he said softly,not moving his hands at all.He didn't want to show the few tears in his eyes to the Brit,didn't want to appear weak as he tried so hard to have Arthur be with him.

"I can't make you happy. I'm only going to say 'I love you' to one person in my entire life, and I don't know if it's you. I'm going to tie you down with my unsureness and you won't be able to make progress in a relationship with me. And then, when you finally realize you've done the wrong thing, you'll break away in search of someone else, and leave me empty and devoid of the desire to be with anyone ever again." Arthur explained slowly, tears springing back into his eyes.

He didn't want to be alone ever again. He'd had too much of that already and all he wanted to do now was find someone who would hold him like he was worth something, anything at all. And god, he wanted Francis to be the one, but his brain couldn't rationalize his heart's decision. He knew he was going to ruin lives if he went on with this.

But he still did. Arthur had grown up alone. Selfishness was a trait he just couldn't erase.

"That's not true,"Francis said."I will help you,I will hold you,and I will be a jerk and break your comfort zone so you can become used to me.It's not the wrong thing,and I will carefully help you and grow closer with you."He carefully sat up and edged closer to Arthur,until it was just a few feet that separated them from each other.

"How can you say that you won't make me happy?You already do.When we bicker,when we talk,when we make up after fights..Hell..I'm happy right now,just being near you,just talking to you.."he said.He stared at Arthur,afraid."Please..Let us take this chance.I can assure you,that if we break up,it will not be me who ends it.I understand if after dating for a bit,you discover if I'm not the one.But please,let's try it before you decide it won't work.Let me in,Arthur.Let me into your life.."

Arthur's heart lurched unpleasantly. He suddenly felt extremely sick, like throwing up. He didn't know why. Perhaps it was because he was disgusted by how he was so ready to do as Francis said, to fall into his arms and never get back up again. Maybe he was just disgusted that he was so willing to ruin a life.

But he did not hate Francis as much as he let on. Arthur disliked Francis for making him fall so hard for him, he disliked him for making him so weak in the knees when he was touched, he disliked him for making him so sick when he flirted with others, he disliked him for making him so vulnerable. He was weak. Too easily hurt. And it was Francis' fault because he'd made Arthur's heart emerge from behind the cold, steel shield of indifference he'd put up around it.

God, he wanted to, he really did, but... he couldn't. Francis was so nice, so ready to open up, and Arthur didn't want to steal that from someone who might actually deserve it. He didn't.

" I don't... deserve someone as willing as you." he shakily whispered after a long pause. The tears gathering at the corners of his eyes were threatening to spill.

But he couldn't cry because then, he'd be weak. And right now, he was rejecting everything that could make him happy just so he would look strong. So, he couldn't cry.

"You can do so much better than me, be so much happier with someone who will treat you right, who won't yell at you or insult you or push you away. I don't know if I love you. Perhaps I'll never return the same amount of love that you display. I don't... Want to hurt you by giving you false hope..." he took a deep breath, trying quite unsuccessfully to keep the tears at bay. "Or worse... Say I do want to love you, but can never return the affection you give me with the same passion."

The truth had finally poked its ugly head out.

"Francis, I... I can't love you... I.... I don't know how."

Francis slowly looked into the cold water of the swimming pool.He hadn't realized it,but during Arthur's little speech,he had started crying.Tears dripped down his cheeks and he couldn't stop them.He began to shake,began to let out choked sobs.

"Please..Let me show you how to love,"he begged softly,looking over at Arthur.Just looking at the Brit he was so madly in love with,the Brit who was breaking his heart,caused the dam to break.The tears filled his eyes and spilled down his face,and he sobbed uncontrollably."You don't want to hurt me in a relationship with me..But you're hurting me more by rejecting me,Arthur..I-I can help,I can.Please,let me in,Arthur.P-Please!"

"If I let you in, I'll let you into something practically no one has ever seen." Arthur gritted his teeth. "You'll see me completely open, without the protection of lies and pretending. You have never known me like that, so how do I know if you'll love the real me as much as you love the me you see every day? I refuse to be happy living a lie. And I refuse to be happy knowing it will all break down afterwards." He felt cold and empty pronouncing these words, forcing them out. He hated it. He hated feeling so heartless. But he wasn't. He was only rejecting happiness so that he could reject all risks of heartbreak.

Being alone all his life wouldn't have minded him as much as knowing companionship, and then losing it. And so... better crush the spark of hope before it develops and he got too attached to it.

"I would!I swear on my life I would like the you that you are.Please let me see that you,that real you.I swear I won't hurt you,ever again,"Francis pleaded.He moved closer and grabbed Arthur's hands,holding them tight."I swear to God,to any god,really,that I would love you,and show you the happiness you deserve.Let me be your knight,your prince.."He blinked and smiled a little bit.

"Arthur.Let me be your frog prince.Kiss me,and I'll be anything you want and deserve.Please,"he said.He was still crying,but decided that if Arthur rejected him one last time,he'd give up,even if it means giving up everything that made him the man he was."Don't do this to me,or to yourself..Let me be your frog prince."

Arthur looked at their joint hands, listening to Francis speak, and couldn't muster the strength to raise his eyes and look at him. He knew he would cry if he did. The moment was absolutely heartbreaking for him, and if he had to hurt someone, he had to do it looking strong-willed. He took a deep breath, willed his heart to stop beating so fast, and told himself this was it.

He had to do it. His choice had been made. He couldn't risk hurting Francis any longer.

Slowly, very slowly, he looked up. Francis' teary blue eyes were staring right at him. And he looked so sad, so hopeful, waiting, waiting like a maiden would wait for her soldier to come back from war, looking so desperate and ready to shatter at the smallest gust of wind. Arthur gulped down and opened his mouth to speak. Tears were burning his eyes. He practically couldn't see anymore. His head hurt so bad, he practically couldn't think anymore. And he felt so tired and weak, like if he fell now, he would never be able to get back up again. He couldn't risk that.

"I can't..." he started, looking at Francis, wondering how Mother Nature had managed to create something so perfect. Something so perfect he desired so much. He didn't just want Francis anymore, he needed him. But he couldn't have him. He took a deep, shuddering breath and got ready to continue when another tear slid down Francis' cheek.

Francis was crying. For him. Arthur's world came crashing down. The words froze on his lips. And the tears that he had been fighting for so long finally rolled down his cheeks.

With a sob, he put his arms around Francis' middle and buried his face in his chest. And he screamed. The frustration accumulated in his heart echoed off the walls and dissipated quickly, leaving the silence broken only by the sound of desperate sobs.

Francis had been so afraid.He was afraid that he would loose it all,but he had to face it.He knew that if Arthur refused him,there was nothing he could do.But when those arms encircled him,and the scruffy blonde hair covered head buried against his chest,he was sure things would be okay.Positive,in fact.The simple shock of the hug,and the sobs,made the Frenchman freeze.He momentarily thought it was a dream,a fake reality,then the cries grew loud,and he slowly turned his head down to gaze at Arthur.He sighed softly,his lips forming a small smile,and he held the man close.He hugged him tight,lowering his head to shower the top of Arthur's head with kisses.

After a moments of staying like this,of holding the male like this,he made him tilt his head up.He ducked down a little bit and pressed their lips together,hoping beyond hope that Arthur would be okay with this,that he wouldn't push away and run off screaming again.He put all his emotions and then some for the younger teen into that kiss,trying to show just how much he cared for the Brit named Arthur Kirkland.

Arthur broke away quickly, not by choice, but by necessity. His breath was so much shorter when he cried, so he quickly felt light-headed as Francis kissed him. Or was that really because of the lack of air? For now, amidst his confusion, he'd pretend that the dizziness was simply a physical reaction. His heart disagreed. It always did.

Another brief kiss later, he put his head back down on Francis' shoulder, breathing deep and taking in everything that reminded him of the Frenchman. He could hear his heart, beating so quickly, beat in unison with Francis'. His breath was shuddering as he tried to calm down, convincing himself that he wouldn't ruin anything by having made this decision. Right there, right then, in the arms of someone that made him feel appreciated, he was finally happy.

And that was when he decided that he wouldn't let his happiness run away ever again.

Francis held Arthur close.His heart was fluttering,feeling amazing just for being so close to his love.He patted Arthur's back gently,before he realized he couldn't feel his feet.He looked at Arthur."Mon cher,how about we go to one of our dorms?This water is very cold,"he said softly.He tried to carefully pull his feet out of the water without affecting the Brit much.He dried them off with the sleeve of his jacket before putting on his loafers,wanting to warm them up."Or we can go draw on Rory's face."He chuckled a bit and squeezed Arthur gently.

"I'm going to assume that this means you're mine,Arthur..Correct me if I'm wrong."

"I don't belong to anyone." Arthur blushed as he got up as well, drying his legs off and slipping his shoes on. The rest of his discarded uniform ended up in his arms as he went and stood by Francis' side. "I guess I'm a bit exhausted. We should get some rest, considering we have classes today. A couple of hours should do." he looked up at Francis and smiled just a tiny bit. "Let's head back."

"Well,I'm gonna call you my boyfriend,"Francis said happily,carefully placing an arm around Arthur's waist.He started walking towards the door,a smile on his face.He soon opened the door for Arthur and followed him out of it."Now,would you wish to go to your own dorm alone?Or come with me?Or let me come with you?"He held Arthur's hand,giving it a gentle squeeze.

Arthur studied him for a moment, then gently squeezed back.

"Well, I'd hate for Rory to wake up alone and think we ditched him. Perhaps we should go back to the common room and pretend nothing happened..." he looked away as he said that, finding the plain walls so much more interesting all of a sudden.

Francis blinked a bit."Pretend nothing happened..?"he asked softly."As in..Pretend we aren't.."He sighed and looked away a bit.

"Arthur,I want you to be my boyfriend.At least comment on that for me.I know you're sort of drawn back at this sort of..Stuff..But just say yes and then we can go back to the common room,okay?"he asked,looked at the teen.

"N-No!" Arthur hastily replied. "I mean, yes, but not like that, and..." he sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to deal with this." he ran a hand through his hair. "I... I do want to hold your hand and smile when you smile and give you an Eskimo kiss before retiring every night, but..." he gulped down nervously, feeling absolutely ashamed by what he was about to say. "But... what will other people think...?"

Francis stared at Arthur before bursting out into laughter."Oh,silly little Arthur,"he laughed,picking up the Brit as well as he could and hugging him."They'd be happy we finally got our shit together and became a couple,"he said,kissing Arthur's cheeks over and over.

"It's true,you know."He nodded and nuzzled against his neck.

Arthur didn't reply, merely put one of his hands on Francis' head and sighed. He had so many insecurities about this shaky new relationship he'd started building with Francis. He was so afraid, like every breath he took could ruin it all. There were so many demons still haunting him. But he'd have to deal with them. For Francis. And for their joint happiness.

"I guess." he merely whispered, trying to sound as confident as he could.

Francis gently kissed Arthur's lips,holding him happily.When he parted,he took hold of his hand before leading him back towards the common room.He knew things would be rocky at the start,but he was prepared for it,prepared for anything that Arthur could throw at him.He was prepared because he was willing to do anything for the Brit,the Brit who took his heart so many years ago.And he was happy.

Arthur let himself be led silently back to the common room, where he hesitated. Should he return to the couch he'd picked beforehand? It was almost across the room from Francis'. Would Francis mind? It did feel somewhat awkward to spend your first night as a couple far from your partner. But then again, the teens from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" had done it. Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad. Shakespeare had never failed him before.

Wordlessly, he untangled his hand from Francis' and made his way towards his couch, dropping the uniform jacket he was holding in his arms on his way there.